I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
