i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
