I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
