Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
