Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
