I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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