Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
