i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
