I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
