i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize