May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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