My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
