Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
