Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
