The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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