i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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