dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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