Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
