You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
