no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
