"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
