So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize