1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
