I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
