I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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