Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
