my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
