Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
