NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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