my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
