we're blogging at a bar
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
