i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
