Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize