I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
