Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
