Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
