I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
