She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
