dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
