3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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