The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I will die if light touches me.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
