That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
