No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
