The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize