I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
