You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
