she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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