ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
