yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
