We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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