If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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