Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
