Your tits are I can't wait for
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize