You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm like, not good at living.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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