I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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