It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
