I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
