do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
