I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
