im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
